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Second Life – a second-first hour live blog

Second life is an amazing platform, a world where you can buy/sell virtual property, build/buy/sell virtual objects, and meet interesting people. Recently I dusted off my avatar (born in 2006) and re-experienced my second life for my second-first time. The following live blog illustrates some of the challenges faced by individuals new to Second Life. Don’t give up hope though, once I left orientation island the people I found and the subsequent people and conversations were worth the effort. 

* 19:35 – Downloaded new SL client, installed. Had to use recover name and password function on site. Response email went to junk mail.
* 19:40 – Logged on to find myself underwater with no way to swim. I walked for a few minutes in a couple of different directions. Was assaulted by an auto-bot that kept inviting me to spend $100 to spend 30 minutes on a boat with “24 Sceneries.” The boat was floating above my head. No you can’t fly under water. (NOTE: This would not happen to a new member, I must’ve been at this location when I last logged out two years ago.)
* 19:50 – Located Teleport Home function and BAM! found myself in a strip mall (orientation island).
* 19:51 – Found group of people using talk function to harass an English sounding fellow who was shouting rude things about race, and America. Listened for a few minutes watched people. Very negative. Not sure who was more of an ass.
* 19:52 – Wandered off to track what looked like monorail. No monorail arrived. I walked down the tracks to another city center. This appeared to be a fishing town. Witnessed smoke bombs and two flying cars (very little realism). Lots of gun shots. Nobody appeared to be hurt.
* 20:01 – Accidentally sat on a man on the bench. He jumped up and flew away.
* 20:02 – More rude insults from miscellaneous people standing around.
* 20:10 – I think a giant space ship just landed on me. Not positive what it is except there are three large pipes facing outwards and an entry way in the center
* 20:15 – Cars are back, just sitting there.
* 20:30 – Machine gun fire and someone just handed me a “landmark.” Reads, “Neon Nights Complex, Sim Camping, Free Lindens, Make Money. There is a picture that is a series of pink geometric objects. I’m not sure what I’m looking at. Buttons to Teleport and Show on Map.
* 20:34 – Got up to inspect car, walked right through it. Am now watching tiger stripped dancing girl with tiger teddy bear and mini skirt. Nice tail, no really, she has a tail.
* 20:35 – Someone just started playing a really terrible hip-hop song (I like hip-hop, this is just bad). Can’t figure out where the sound is coming from.
* 20:36 – Strange skinless (all grey) woman figure is swimming in the air in front of me. Strange!
* 20:37 – 2.5 seconds of a song… stop… 1 second of a different song… stop… repeat
* 20:38 – Buttless chaps wearing tattooed man with nipple piercings (connected by a chain) is doing spin kicks in front of me.
* 20:39 – Seems to be a rash of stupid banter on the chat window. “Don’t step in my wee” and “I need to lose three pounds so I bought a pint of ice cream.”
* 20:40 – Loud Fart noise.
* 20:42 – a woman just stood on my head. I looked up for a crotch view. Yikes. She’s a zombie.
* 20:43 – Random typing noise is annoying
* 20:44 – Sound keeps jumping from a hard shoed person walking in a very long echoing hallway to euro trash dance music… Ooops now it’s both sexy hip hop and Beasty Boys with Saturday Night Fever overlapping it. This is a special kind of hell.
* 20:45 – There is a woman standing in front of me in a feather dress with nothing but her hair covering her boobs. Nice looking but dead behind the eyes.
* 20:46 – Lots of these girls look like prostitutes. I just realized chaps guy is a match pair with tiger lady. They are dancing together to “Shake your Ass”
* 20:46 – Is that a chainsaw sound? Definitely a whip crack.
* 20:48 – Almost walked into a canal. Walked right through fence. Wouldn’t have been able to get out of that if I fell. Whew!
* 20:49 – Attempted to walk further down the road and was stopped by an invisible wall. A message just popped up saying I could not enter that zone because the server was full. I am now standing knee deep in the street.
* 20:50 – Quote of the minute – “Bestiality is bad”. More disembodied typing sounds.
* 20:53 – The region you have entered is running a different version of the simulator. What does that mean?
* 20:55 – Not sure what the map I’m standing on is but the random walk-through, walk over behavior is disorienting.
* 20:56 – Someone has a voice processor that makes them talk like a chipmunk.
* 20:59 – Just fell into the sidewalk in front of “Furry Slut.” She’s dancing erotically and her hair is flowing very realistically. Strange Grey boxes are emanating from here like a disco pattern.
* 21:01 – A black man in camouflage pants just urinated next to me. Complete with sound effects and a penis coming out of his pants. Yes a yellow green stream and a puddle were included.
* 21:04 – Blue message pop-up – Duane Scarborough’s “Hypnose Homme” Are you interested in men’s fragrances from the perspective of a BUTTON=MALE, BUTTON=FEMALE, BUTTON=IGNORE
* 21:06 – Seems to be a lot of urinating right now. Woman in funny hat just whipped out a penis and peed on the first offending urinator.
* 21:07 – I’m leaving now. Wondering what the hell was the point of that? Bad rendering, obscenity, lot’s of people doing nothing but standing around.
* 21:08 – As I log out the last sound I hear, besides the incessant typing sounds, was a single bird chirping in an idyllic manner. Almost surreal.

Stay tuned for follow-up posts where we will be addressing ideas for a Captivate, Convert, Continue process that could help Second Life build relationships with customers, improve the quality of the overall experience, and increase their population. 

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Posted by Joseph Juhnke on September 3, 2008

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